=(

Today, I've proven to myself that I shouldn't let confidence be embedded in myself. I've been gaining poor results lately and this really hurt my heart. I don't wanna go through all these sufferings. Being pessimistic and lack of confidence is not good, I know. However, being over-confident is bad too. Do you know how much it hurts when you finally found confidence that you can do well in something but ended up doing worse than before? That's what I'm feeling now. Hurt, pain, suffering, sad, depressed. Perhaps, you think that I'm being far too pessimistic but I don't like this kinda disappointment. That's why I don't like to be confident in myself. I'm afraid of this kinda disappointment that I''ll get in return. And this is what I get from being over-confident. I don't know if I can tilt my head back and smile naturally to anyone anymore. I felt that I've disappointed not only myself but also my parents. Sorry.