tired is the word

I am tired. Like seriously tired. Nobody is easy to please and you can't please every single person in this world. Life sucks. It does. I am tired.

:(

So tired!!!!!!! Tired of patient not understanding your counselling. Yet, I pity them for that. Some of them are just too old to use those devices. Some are just being ignorant. Some lie on the bed motionless. This is the life in ward! I can't open my eyes now!!! And caffeine is not helping!!!! =( I'm just being so sad today! I feel so stupid! I still can't cope with things in ward. Feel so useless. Boo hoo~

=S

My clinical knowledge really sux. Don't even know how I passed my pharmacy exams. Gosh!

thank you!

I really want to thank God for saving the life of my friend. Although I only knew her for a few months, it's like I've known her for a long long time. She has brought so much laughter into my life. She's such a bubbly girl. Just love the presence of her around me. She always makes the atmosphere so comfortable and fun. Can't imagine losing a friend like her. Her incident also reminds me to drive safe all the time. I realise that I don't speed as much. Life is just so precious. You only live once. There's no second chance in life. If you're one of those who love speeding (like me), you should start to ponder about this. Think about your family. Think about your friends. Think about your future. What's the benefit of speeding when you can reach your destination as well if you were to drive slowly? Drive slow, be safe. And enjoy the journey. =)

cool-ish

what's your reason for being cool? so cool for what?

letting go

My phone rings and my machine picks up
How many times is that today?
That you've called me just to say hello
And I say I'm doing okay

I missed you, now I don't
I gave in, now I won't
I loved you, now I can't
Put my heart through all that again

Sometimes gone is really gone
Sometimes baby people just move on
And letting go means letting go
And I did, but you won't, let go

No I haven't found somebody else
Maybe I'm not ready yet
But I'm not saying that I want you back
That's the past, please understand

I missed you, now I don't
I gave in, now I won't
I loved you, now I can't
Put my heart through all that again

Sometimes gone is really gone
Sometimes baby people just move on
And letting go means letting go
And I did, but you won't
No you won't

I missed you, now I don't
I gave in, now I won't
I loved you, now I can't
Put my heart through all that again

no-skirt-dept

I shall not wear skirt in OPD anymore.

my heart wont let me

2-10

Today is gonna be my first night doing extended without any senior pharmacist. A bit worried now. Hopefully everything will be ok today. =)

My deepest condolence to you and your family. It takes time to let go and continue with your life as usual. I know it's hard but I believe that one day you'll be fine.

45

I went to Gribbles Lab today to do some blood test. The nurse said my veins are small. She also asked me if I lost weight because my veins are mobile! Sound so scary. She said don't blame her if she can't take out my blood during the first try. She thought I lost weight purposely. Everyone thought I'm not eating well. I told everyone that I eat a lot. And some people thought I went for a diet plan. Haih~ I weighed myself again before leaving the building. I'm now 45kg. I keep losing weight without realising it. My pants are getting looser and looser now. I can now fit in to clothes that was too fit for me when I was in Perth. This is not a good way to lose weight. =(

Rx

Currently on carbimazole 20mg bd and propranolol 20mg bd. Need to get some tests done before the next appointment.

46.8

Today, I weighed myself for the first time since I came back from Perth. I was about 50-52kg in Perth. Now, I'm 46.8kg. I never thought that I would be under 50kg due to hyperthyroidism. My blood test results have shown that I have hyperthyroidism. My T4 was double of the upper limit of normal range. My TSH was seriously low compared to the usual range. I was shocked to see the result. Fortunately, it's curable. I just need to take some medications and hopefully it'll be back in control.

I didn't realise that I actually have symptoms of hyperthyroidism. The doctor in polyclinic asked if I had palpitations and I said no. When I went home that day, I felt my heartbeat. It's definitely palpitation. My heart palpitates even when I'm not doing anything, just lying on my couch and watching tv. I know I suffered from some tremor since long time ago. I thought it was normal when you're a bit nervous in front of strangers. I didn't know it's something wrong with my T4 and TSH levels until last week. Another thing is I had been suffering from profused sweating since I came back to Malaysia. Heat intolerance is one of the symptoms of hyperthyroidism. I guess I'll be on some medications form tomorrow onwards. I hope to get well soon although I know that it won't be that soon.

meow~

Will be flying to Kuching tomorrow. One day trip to Kuching. I guess this is the first time I board a plane without any luggage, just some important documents. I can just proceed to departure gate when I reach the airport tomorrow mane. Cool! Hopefully everything can be done before lunch time.

...

I've been back for quite some time and that's how long my blog was abandoned for. Where has the passion for blogging gone to? I have no idea. I rather spend time watching tv than blogging. Guess I'm just being lazy. Still waiting for my letter from KKM.