fear

i suddenly have a weird feeling. i'm scared. i'm not strong enough. i'm fragile. i've been thinking about it every single day and this makes me so sick. i'm seriously afraid of it. i don't know if i can enjoy my nz trip. i just have this uneasy feeling right now. i'm afraid to come back all by myself. i'm sorry if i've made anyone unhappy about this since it's winter break now and we should be enjoying our holidays. i'm just..... scared